Talking of Time and 'The Red Shoes'

I want to take time....time to pause and reflect, time to write and dream and create......there isn't enough time...I need time off.... I need time out....haven't the time......

It seems that I am often craving time to stretch my spiritual and creative self and to live more in tune with my energies rather than be thrust on the conveyor belt that insists I go to work...not that I do not like my work...I am fortunate to have a job whereby I feel I can make a difference and support others to on their personal path. It involves helping to heal the wounds caused by abuse: physical, emotional, mental and financial...the wounds caused by cycles of control, fear, obligation, guilt which go back through generations.The job could be just a job, but for me it is more of a vocational choice and an area that has involved much healing work and personal development in my own life in order that I can feel rooted enough and strong enough to be present for others.

Nevertheless I am at a crossroads in terms of time....time to nurture myself, to see friends, to fulfil creative dreams and personal projects.I wonder how this can be achieved and I often believe that it can be a luxury to even have time when there is so much suffering in the world. I know that much of the work is being done in an every day sense of being in the moment, fully present and aware, of dealing with one thing at a time, of finding 'slow time' as Gill Edwards puts it in 'Life is a Gift'.I also find Reiki healing a salve, as self healing and channeling Reiki energy to heal others seems to slow time and allow me to focus on the present moment as it is in my body. I feel more attuned to energy around me and to my own sense of balance and wholeness. Sending light and healing to where the body knows it is needed seems so simple now as I now trust my body to know what it needs and listen to its voice. This process of trusting the body has for me been a long healing process as given my own history I was body shy for a long time and had not been raised in a family where touch was readily and affectionately given. It was through doing Reiki 1 that I learnt this trust in the healing power of touch and started to discover just how much I could heal in myself just by gong through the key hand positions on the chakras or energy centres.The discovery of how peaceful and grounded Reiki made me feel led me to continue on the Reiki path to Reiki 2 ...healing others...and now to Reiki 3 or Reiki Master/teacher Level.

My process over the past six years since discovering Reiki has led to my discovering Spiritual Healing which I studied with NFSH..the BNational Federation of Spiritual Healers. This involves working in the auric field away from the body and experiencing more subtle energies and powerful ones! This is very useful when touch is unwanted or invasive.It is another way of channeling light energy.

I work with women in women's self development groups in this way ...slowing down the present moment with its anxieties and preoccupations and using meditation and relaxation to focus attention upon the here and now; letting go of the stress and strain held within the body.I also use poetry, games, art, role play and discussion about self esteem and confidence to allow the body the opportunity and time to express what is held within on an unconscious level.I extend the work from indoors to outdoors and use nature and the landscape of Cornwall as a source of energy and healing.This enables me to blend my own interests with my work so that I feel more fulfiiled and happy.

So back to time....it seems I am still here at this crossroads. In my work I have been bringing different skills into practise and realising the potential of healing my own wounds to be able to be there for others. It is an on going process and challenges always arise forcing you back to source...back to centre.

If we do not take time out of our busy schedules and hectic lives to pause and reflect, we carry on in ever decreasing circles like the girl in the story of 'The Red Shoes' by Hans Christian Anderson,unable to stop herself dancing so the dancing becomes all there is and her own soul is abandoned to the obsessive rhythm of the dance.Eventually, she begs for the shoes to be cut off along with her feet as this is the only answer for her dance to stop{although the shoes continue dancing off into the hoirzon looking for another soul/sole to steal}.This is what can happen to us if we don't listen to the wisdom of our bodies and slow down....I see nervous exhaustion and pain every day; caused by situations where someone or thing else has held control and women have been forced to just survive in a situation where there was no opportunity to stop the dance until the basic instinct to escape and live kicked in.

The story of 'The Red Shoes' can be read on a number of levels: red being the colour of passion,lust and the fact the story in its original form by Hans Christian Anderson has a very moral framework with the girl's soul being stolen by the devil and her being 'taught a lesson' as it were for her desire for the shoes which were a symbol of her free will and pride. This story can also be applied to all sorts of obsessive compulsions and addictions..the need for a sharp and painful intervention in order for the mad dance to end...the girl is left with wooden stumps and feet carved by an 'executioner'... the one who cut off her shoes in an act of pity.She returns to the fold of the church.....typical of a Chriatian morality...she is now meek and humble....saved by God's mercy.

In many ways this is a story about possession the mad, obsessive energy that accompanies it so that the will of the human is subjugated to the energy of the thing itself whether it be a drug, a drink, religion, work....whatever....it does not matter what the compulsive activity is it is just that the body suffers to the point of exhaustion and potential breakdown if it carries on unchecked by maybe an inner consciousness or awareness of the dangers it holds.

This time of the year is a time to draw inward, reflect and to let go of what is no longer needed, as well as dream into being the next part of the journey.The need to be able to stop the dizzy dance of external demands and come back to source energy, to centre is vital to nourish the soul and heal the body of any unwanted energies. Taking time out is not easy when there are mouths to feed, jobs to be done, deadlines to be met....but as the evenings draw ever closer inward and the stars appear in the indigo sky or as the dawn light wakes us, try to pause..try to take 'slow time'.....

Blessed Be x